I’ve been thinking a great deal lately about a question that seems to occupy an increasing amount of attention in business, education, and personal development: How do we find our purpose in life?
After more than five decades in business, reviewing over 1,000 books, mentoring thousands of people navigating career transitions, and interviewing extraordinary leaders on The Mentors Radio, I’ve developed a hypothesis that challenges much of conventional wisdom.
Perhaps we’re asking the wrong question
I believe we’re confusing three fundamentally different things: purpose, gifts, and calling.
Our Purpose Is Universal
Alan Mulally, the legendary former CEO of Ford Motor Company and Boeing Commercial Airplanes, has been a guest on my radio show. Recently, at the 30th anniversary celebration of Leader to Leader, he reiterated something that has stayed with me:
Our purpose in life is to love and to be loved – in that order.
Mulally explores the relationship between love, leadership, and service in his foreword to Work Is Love Made Visible, edited by Frances Hesselbein, Marshall Goldsmith, and Sarah McArthur.
His insight resonates deeply with my Catholic faith. Christ’s commandment to love God and our neighbor establishes a purpose that transcends careers, accomplishments, wealth, and recognition.
We don’t need to discover this purpose. We need to live it.
Our Gifts Are Personal
While our overarching purpose may be universal, our gifts are uniquely our own.
Don Clifton, the father of strengths-based psychology, devoted his career to understanding why people flourish when they develop their natural talents rather than concentrating primarily on correcting their weaknesses.
I explored this with James Asplund, Gallup’s Chief Scientist, on The Mentors Radio. Our conversation focused on CliftonStrengths, formerly known as StrengthsFinder, and how identifying and developing natural talents can lead to greater effectiveness, fulfillment, and happiness.
God has endowed each of us with particular gifts. Our responsibility is to recognize, develop, and use them wisely.
But knowing our strengths does not automatically reveal our calling.
Our Calling Unfolds
Consider Harvey Mackay’s fascinating book, We Got Fired! It chronicles successful people whose unexpected dismissals became turning points, redirecting them toward opportunities and achievements they could never have anticipated.
Could anyone have told these individuals at age 20 that getting fired would become an important chapter in their life story?
Of course not.
Life unfolds through experiences, relationships, opportunities, disappointments, and events beyond our control. Marriage, parenthood, illness, professional setbacks, and unexpected responsibilities can redirect us in ways we never imagined.
I’ve experienced this throughout my own life, moving from corporate leadership to entrepreneurship, mentoring, broadcasting, and caregiving. Some of my most meaningful responsibilities were never part of any career plan.
Looking backward, I can recognize patterns and callings that would have been impossible to see looking forward.
And therein lies an important distinction: A calling is not necessarily a career, nor is it necessarily permanent.
We may be called to different forms of service at different stages of life.
A Better Question
Instead of asking young people to define their life’s purpose, perhaps we should help them answer more practical questions:
- What are my God-given strengths?
- How can I develop those gifts?
- Where can I apply them to create value for others?
- What opportunities to serve are emerging in my life?
These questions encourage growth, self-awareness, and openness to possibilities without imposing the burden of predicting an unknowable future.
I’ve come to summarize my thinking this way:
Purpose is not something we achieve. It is something we live. Our gifts are what we bring to life, and our calling is where life asks us to use them.
Our purpose provides the moral compass. Our gifts equip us for the journey. Our calling emerges as we put those gifts to work in service to others.
Perhaps the real challenge isn’t finding our purpose at all.
It’s learning to recognize and respond to our calling, wherever life – and God – may lead us.
—————————–
Thomas M. Loarie is a seasoned start-up CEO in the Life Sciences field and a founding host of THE MENTORS RADIO, where CEOs challenge Your thinking on Life and Work, which is now in its 10th year!
You must be logged in to post a comment.