My Cousin, Family, and I, please pray for me.

My Cousin’s son will be fought over in court by his mother. Though my cousin and his son’s mom are not married, she wants to retain full parentalship and wants full child support. Sadly, her child will be the real victim of the situation. Her son is not even 2 yet, and she has a lawyer in Los Angeles who is going to represent her in court to win the child over. Please pray for my cousin, his son, and the mother who is very likely grieving her mother who just past away about 2 years ago. My Grandma keeps praying for them. And, my cousin’s mom, is asking my Grandma and I to give $500 each to pay for the lawyer he needs. I feel I may be contributing for the wrong reasons. Sometimes I’m trying to be a hero and want to gain favor from my Aunt and her sons and daughter, and their dad. I’m afraid of too much an emotional feel good satisfaction rather than doing so because God wills it. I pray for discernment.

My Grandma doesn’t appear to have enough money at the moment, either. She (My Grandmother) even said my cousin may not win his son in court, and could go 2 years. I’m troubled, I have not only doubts about helping financialy; but, as well, I feel in danger of doing something good and finding myself in an unahppy situation later on where someone in my family may ill treat me for one reason or another, I wish I hadn’t helped them. I’m afraid of doing charity if I’m going to feel awful about it, and feel simply used by God only just to satisfy what he wants at the time.

I also fail to receive communion because of mortal sin, and going to confession seems hard. I fear a priest will break the seal of confession, I fear retribution and no justice in love and mercy, I fear the danger of making myself going to confession and choking up and giving only a general confession of what I did, I fear so much doubt and anger at myself for what I’ve done, I feel as though I will try to artificially make myself feel guilty in confession, and force a confession out of myself, and I fear my conscience does not work by God’s mercy and counsel to at least awakened that guilt in me to be truly sorrowful for what I’ve done. I pray for a real miracle to confess my sins, a priest who has the merciful presence of God to free me from my sins in the Sacrament of confession. I pray the Holy Spirit may guide me, and enstrenghten me to please enable me to confess my sins in a true and real way of feeling wholesomely contrite for my sins by the priest. Please God, please help me.