Years ago, a gentle-natured, exceptionally intelligent and dry-witted college professor recounted his recent experience on a nearby public golf course. Early in the game, one of his golfing colleagues insisted that each player should be granted a mulligan (a “do-over”) on one score of their choice. Of course the one who suggested the idea had hopes of taking his mulligan on the last hole.
But as the colleague made his pitch, an all-Japanese foursome behind them, clearly business visitors to the region, overheard the exchange. “What’s a mulligan?” asked one of the visitors. Upon hearing the definition, the entire Japanese team lit up with smiles, nodding heads and murmurs of “Ah.. a mulligan!” Later, and throughout the remaining 18 holes, my professor said he heard the phrase “mulligan!” frequently from the Japanese group. The way he figured it, the notion of a do-over had become an integral component of the game for the Japanese businessmen. My professor got quite a kick out of that story, and we had a good laugh. For my part, I never forgot the notion of a mulligan.
Fast forward a few decades and many life, business and people exchanges later, and it occurs to me that we each deserve a mulligan from time to time!
I suppose in some sense the Sacrament of Confession (Reconciliation) could be considered the mulligan of mulligans. After all, we humans were created out of nothing, and given everything by a loving God. We blew it. We keep blowing it. Daily. Hourly even. God sent his only begotten Son to take on human nature and to live as a sinless man on earth and to die a cruel, unjust death—offering his sinless self in place of our sin. And all we have to do to claim that mulligan of mulligans is to genuinely confess our sins, be truly sorry for having committed them and for offending our loving Creator, resolve never to repeat that sin, humble ourselves to God’s chosen representative, an ordained priest, in the Sacrament of Confession, and do whatever penance is prescribed… and of course, to pray and do everything we can to avoid the near occasions of sin in the future.
Yet we know our good intentions are weak.
How often have you and I been frustrated by a business colleague or co-worker, misunderstood by a spouse or child or friend, recognized our own terrible choice of words or actions too late? How often have we had to ask for forgiveness? How often have we wondered whether or not another person was capable of keeping his or her word, or of not hurting us again in the same way? How often have we given someone else the benefit of our doubt when we struggled within ourselves to withhold rash judgement to hear their explanation first, only to be slammed by that same person later when the situation was reversed? How often…name anything.
And some days, the mistakes we make without thinking, the hurt we cause — it’s overwhelming to think about once the person offended makes his feelings known. He or she may not choose to forgive us. They may not want to listen. I’m not talking about a lifetime of deception, but a one-time word or act done without thinking. C’est la vie. After genuinely apologizing when we suddenly see with clarity our own hurtfulness. At some point, the final outcome is out of our control. It takes two to forgive and go forward, to misunderstand again, accept the candor of the other person and forgive.
After just living through one of days, I have come to the conclusion that everyone deserves a mulligan. At least once… It’s not like I’ve not been on God’s doorstep with the same request a few (hundred) times!